Dream Awake
by Lucille-Winged
Summary: Lost between dream and reality, he feels like an empty shell without memories... Sort of Chrom/Avatar, more plat, sentimental "Don't hold a grudge against me Messire...you... my Friend... my..." The silent shadows and the canopy of heaven become the oultel of his torment. The stars seemed to cry above him, the wind whishpered ton of nonsense words. Then... introspection, fluffy o/


_Disclamer: The characters belong to Nintendo_

_My first O-S in english section o/ . My fanfiction is currently in translation because I am a french autor. _

_ And I don't know betareaders and how the characters talk in the english game, so I adapted with the french version. I give english lessons but I don't pretent to have a perfect level. Anyways, I hope you will enjoy this. The game is sold for a week in France XD", so we didn't know all the subtilies. That's why I didn't wanted to create a big epic adventure. I prefere to focus on characters's mind._

_I didn't choose "Robin" for my Unit in the OS, but the name I give to him: Helias. In fact, I don't like Robin and in the french version his name is something like Daeran. (I prefere but; Oh well XD). Mine is young, red-haired (ginger) his hair are combed back. Like this, he doesn't look like to effeminate-cute and not too strong or cold/badass/handsome guy yeah I like my explanations!_

_I made this OS with no pretention, and I didn't want to make fan service etc... Just something a bit sentimental and emotional._

* * *

Dream Awake

* * *

Darkness were jostling, swelling, thickening and then disappearing in a puff of mist as he walked. New waves arrived, even more violent, they lifted his heart, awakening a dull pain, there, inside him, like a stone in his chest. Something close as far. Something past, present and maybe futur. A deja vu he could never forget in his entire life. What was that?

He didn't know why, but it was as if his own mind wanted him to remember something. Or rather not to forget it.

Yes... Now it could hear it, the sound of the dark flammes, the scream of a deadly wounded man shutting down. Then, he felt himself be pushed fiercly on the floor. After that, someone shouted his name.

Floor steps, cries... He saw the figure of a young man he knew very well.

"Are you okay? Are you-"

He couldn't understand every words, because he felt like his body was out of control, and he tried desesperatly to take over.

A lightning flashed inside the room and the Prince of Ylisse appeared with a Thoron stabbed right in his side.

"It's not your fault, it's not..."

Did he just... murderer him? Please, it was a joke, a bad dream! His heart screamed with rage.

Helias s'eyes open wide.

*My, what a nightmare!* He said to himself. Well...Looked like a pretty realistic nightmare.

He slightly sat up from his bedroll, a hand on his forehead. As a reflex, he combed his red hair on the back of his head. They were always like this.

"Damn, give me my peaceful nights back!" He breathed. "I hate my life sometimes.." He growled, then collapsed on his back. He suddendly realized that it was still night. But he didn't really wanted to sleep anymore. After a few seconds trying to decide if it was just a dream or maybe something like a premonition and he should tell it to Chrom, and finally considering that it was stupid, he decided to go outside to clear his mind.

However he was still wondering. He would never have the undisclose desire to kill the man who saved him. So he could never assassinate him, and he didn't remember that he belonged to some Brotherhood whose purpose was to murder some important and bothering people. He checked his right hand.

*Well... I think I'll go for a walk.*

He grabbed a lantern and left the tent. The cold of the deep night bit the skin under the large coat. He shivered and put an arm around him.

In the camp, two soldiers were guarding near the fire. This turn, there were Gaius and Miriel. The young red-haired thief was making some melted marshmallows and the mage was scolding at him like a child. Gaius waved at him.

"Bubbles! You should be sleeping lad! 'Want some candies?"

"Hmpf, my apologies Helias, this kid should learn how to speak properly." Miriel excused, touching her glasses. " And guarding properly".

The other red chuckled. Poor Gaius, they weren't really exactly as thick as... thieves! In fact, he was one of his closet comrade despite his childlish side.

"Is someone else awake?" The tactician asked, examining around. He didn't want to put them off, but he wanted to talk with somebody.

"Prince Chrome is awake", Miriel answered, He is watching the borderline of the camp.

Helias blinked.

"Alone?"

Oh... Wait...

"Yes. It's pretty calm around there. But he wanted to check something out. We might be followed and he wishes to get the spy from Plegia. If there is one. But he must do that alone, or there is a risk to inform the spy that we are aware of his presence. Don"t worry, it's not the first time."

As she was talking, Helias had a bad foreboding. Well, maybe it was nothing but until there, his instinct never decepted him.

"Why doesn't let someone else in charge of that?"

Miriel looked up, cold.

"You already know."

"I..." Helias murmured, trapped. Chrom din't want to let somebody do what he could do, and take the risk for him. Because he cared of his friends. To be a Prince meant anything in this situation for him.

"Okay. Thank you, ehh, I think... I... I'm gonna... Just, walk, you know."

"Hhmm..." She looked suspiciously at him.

"Just don't bother him. He needs your tactics. Not your vain beliefs."

Helias nodded and hurried away, just the time for him to hear Gaius called Miriel a meany witch and what invevitably came after.

Dept down in his mind, the magical swordsman thought about what she said. She was right, he was always talking to Chrom about his security and well, the noble was probably sick of this. But he didn't tell him.

"I should better stop that." Helias told to himself, as he crossed the limit of the camp. The large full moon lit the forest and laid a thin shiny veil on the dark leaves. He listened to the voice of the night, the wind through the beechs's foliage. The soil creaked under his feet. He tried to be more delicate. He wondered how Panne managed to be so silent.

*If I had any memories, I would have been able to hum something...* He thought bitterly . No memories...

Nowi had probably a ton of memories to talk. Memories that had shaped her personality. He, nothing. Well...now... almost nothing, and it was so much better. Chrom brought him some. Eh, that had just reminded him of a song. Yes, what was it... Something like:

That's all I can do, that's all..

See.. it's almost nothing

It's so few

It's like glasse,

It's hardly better

See it's almost nothing

So much metter...

It's like a dream, like a game

your mind taken in clearbrook pearls

A smile splited his face. He was surprisingly moved; moved for having been able to remember only a stupid song! Not his birthday, his mother's name or a damn useful thing... But he was happy. A drop of memory. One, just one. But after, others will surely come!

He didn't really know if he could sing, but he would try to sing this tune to someone. That could evoke something for one of his comerades.

"I want to tell Chrom." He chuckled without no apparently reason. He had always been so frustrating to feel like an empty shell in front of him. Yet, the swordsman wanted his compagny, but Helias wanted to bring him something back.

The man looked up right in front of him, he said through the obscurity.

"I owe you Chrom!"

Then, his smile faded, his joylife with it. He first staggered and clung to a tree, keeping him from falling. His eyes never left what he was staring at painfully. The lantern fell with a metallic sound, the light weakened.

"Noo... Oh god..." He dropped in a low voice, overcome by emotion. He managed to snap out of it and run toward-

"Chrom! Chrom by the-" He screamed, kneeling beside the warrior, putting the top of his body in his arms. "Chrom, wake up for Gods's Sake!" They felt like they were made of stone. He gently shook him and then, with more energy. He quickly fingered the body, it smelled blood, and then, blood was on his hand. Helias couldn't see if Chrom was poorly injured. But he was completly out of control. His fear was a nonsense, the nightmare could be the cause. The Prince barely breathed and he was cold.

"Oh Chrom", he lamented, you... fucking noble with your stupid ideas and kindness! He ran nervously his finger on the man's head. Chrom's eyes remained hopelessy shut. Helias pressed the man'sforehead against his. His lips shivered, he forced himself to grit his teeth in order to not let it out. His other hand tightened the man shirt firmly.

*Sometimes I hate my life...*

His soul broke apart in every tear which rolled on his tensed face.

"No... Hell... Please... Not him" he asked to the night sky. "Chrom, stop that. It's the only favor you could ever do to me."

He chortled, joyless.

"You don't want to, do you?" He sniffed, slightly rocking the warrior without even noticing it. His tears crashed on the dead man. The red-haired man wiped the other in the corner of his eyes.

"What should I..." He shook his head, looked there and here. He was lost. He thought of everyone, Chrom's sister, Frederick, Sumia...

"I am sorry." He rubbed his cheek against Chrom's head, and his mouth kissed the noble's forehead.

"Don't hold a grudge against me Messire...you... my Friend... my..."

The silent shadows and the canopy of heaven became the outlet of his torment. The stars seemed to cry above him, the wind whishpered tons of nonsense words.

Then...

"Hhmm... Ahh.. Kof!"

A powerful shiver traveled the mage's body. Was he hallucinating? Was the pain?

"Kof... Ahh...He-Helias?"

"...Prince Chrom?" The swordsman turned to him. He seemed weak but alive and awake. If he was not sat, Helias probably would have fallen on his knees.

"Yeah... Well... Is he..."

"D-Don't-". Helias took a deep breath. "Don't talk my Prince, you-you... see? You are injuried!

"It's not heavy... I... pretended to be dead after... after a man stabbed me. 'Cause I couldn't see him black-dressed. And-and the ache... gnnnnn!" Chrom put an hand on right ribs. "That's unbearable. The pain caused me to faint."

"Pain..." His friend hardly answered.

"Y-yeah, sorry for worrying.. I think I loose blood but... Just look for Lissa..."

"And I don't even take vulnaries." Helias admitted, grave. Now, a feeling of pure shame seized him completly. His ears turned red and warm. What had happened exactly? He didn't want to remember !

"Don't worry, that's my fault... You were right Helias..."

"Please don't say that you... You really scared me, but I had alreayd accepted this eventuallity."

Chrom smiled as he could.

"So you-"

"Don't ever try to do that again!"

The swordsman chuckled but he realized afterwards how serious the tactician was .

"I-"

"That's an order."

"You don't give me order."

"I do now." Helias decided, still angry but deeply relieved. He bowed his head, as the weight of responsability and emotion pulled him down.

Chrom grabbed the man by the collar of his coat a bit abrupty, staring at him. He gripped him by his hair and the side of this face then kissed his forehead.

"I didn't hold a grudge against you, my Friend!"

Helias heart and soul just imploded.

"Ah-"

"Chrom! Helias! But what happened?! They suddendly hearded shouting farther. The mage sat up, looking at the warriors running toward them. He saw Miriel, Gaius and Maribelle, the three Shepherds seemed rather panicked, as if they were looking for them for hours.

Maribelle immediatly knelt beside Chom, ready to heal him. The other woman began his explanations.

"Gaius noticed something near a bush so he have been checked. That was a spy from Plegia. A murderer in fact. We managed to kill him, but we saw blood on his weapon. So we thought..."

"You thought well." The young mage granted.

"Here my Prince, you are going to feel better." The troubadour informed. She used her cure staff on the noble's body.

"I think you could release him, Helias." She said with a pinch of jealousy in her voice.

"Hm? Eerhh, sorry!" He jabbered before obeying. He quickly looked down to avoid crossing the Prince's stare

"Thank you Maribelle and-"

"Help him to stand up you, little fools!"

Gaius rolled his eyes and with the help of Miriel, put their leader on his feet.

"You should rest my Lord, you are still weak!" She advised, following the party to the camp. Only remain Helias. He didn't know what to do. Thinking that his Prince had seen him reacting like that. He should probably forget about this. Maybe pretenting that nothing was happened.

Well, he couldn't deny all the facts but... The shame and the anger were still consuming him. He wanted to find that spy and cast him a Thoron in his head. But he was already dead. He wanted to back in time and prevent the words for escaping from his mouth. Of course, if Chrom didn't hold a grudge against him, Helias did. He didn't listen his advices and there was the result!

In fact, the tactician knew that he was just looking for someone to blame.

He slowly joined the camp, thinking about it. He wished to talk to Chrom before going back to sleep (because all thoses emotions made him ran out of energy). What did he want to tell him? Well, he had absolutly no idea.

The night was short.

In the morning, they left the place. Now that the spy was dead, it was important that Plegia didn't find them again.

So, they walked all day long accross plains and woods. Helias found some compagny with Gaius, who tried to explain where the best cocoa farmes across the world were. To say the truth, the tactician wasn't very... attentive.

Later, they were attacked by ruffians. Helias could see that Prince Chrom had regained his complete strenght.

"Those rascals will always be on our way! Won't they Helias?"

"I beg your pardon?" He turned to the swordsman.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Here, your horse."

"Thank you?" Chrom glanced at him while he was leaving ahead.

The thief noticed the absolute weird behavior of his friend. He tought that was very funny!

In the evening, the camp progressively became quiet. Soldiers watched, other went to sleep, some were still talking and having a good time. The first tactician choose to not ask Chrom about his health, however he couldn't help but do it. He was really worried. Apparently the Prince hadn't been in a critical situation and the red felt more ridiculous.

He went to Chrom's tent and scratched at the entrance.

"Yes, come in."

"It's me Chrom." The man looked really glad to see the young mage, he laid the parchement he was reading on the desk.

"You have finally come, I started to think that you were avoiding me."

"That's, hm, that's not true. I just wanted to let you recover."

"It's nice to hear that from you." He approached the strategist who began to feel a bit nervous. "I know what you are going to say."

"You...do?"

"Yeah," he paced up and down. "I was unwise, that's all. The situation is more dangerous than ever. I think sometimes that I am strong enough. I can protect everybody... Shh, that's just a pretty lie. I can't even protect myself, my sister who- "

"You are not-"

What, what, what?

Chrom looked up. Helias seemed poised to shout.

"You are...strong... but yes, you are too stubborn! A real child!" He crossed his arms. The Prince frowned and made a few steps backwards.

"Eh!"

"What? What do you want to hear? Explain to me?"

*Why am I losing my temper like this?!*

"That was not very-"

"Oh, please! Sumia punched you in the face!"

Chrom walked toward him, annoyed.

"She is a woman!"

"So, do I have to be a woman to be able to make you react ?"

The red immediatly put a hand on his mouth. This conversation had gone too far. He yelled on the Prince, he yelled!

*Sometimes I hate my life.*

"My-my apologies, I... I..." He could definitively not look right at him anymore. "I'm not allowed to tell you such things."

The skilled swordsman stroke his forehead and made up his mind. He gathered his hands before his face like a prayer.

" Honnestly... I think I understand."

"Please you don't have do give me a reason because I-"

"Quiet. It's about what happened in the forest? I'm not a fool, you think you over-reacted, don't you? You seemed nervous today, and Gaius told me what the situation was when he found us."

*That thief...*

"... Sorry." His friend solemnly closed his eyes a moment, feeling disgraceful.

"Hey, do you hear what I just say? It's not a problem I promise. You are human after all. You know what? I really don't mind!"

Those words made Helias feel weird. Sad, blank... he didn't know, but he guessed his feelings had a bit more importance.

Chrom noticed that he didn't use the proper words. But his comrade answer first:

"I see... He briefly watch the floor. He was on the verge to turnabout but he spoke again. " Can... Can I ask you something?"

"Tell me." He smiled.

"... Apart from strategy... What could I... bring to you?"

*I am so empty.*

Chrom's jaw almost dropped at these words. What an unexpected question! He felt really puzzled. His eyes were seeking for the answer on the canvas's tent. But none was painted on it. He didn't want to fail this time but... He had never wondered why he considered Helias as a friend. For him, it was natural, they fighted together, lived together, they learnt about each other everyday. He couldn't deny that they often conversed about strategy, Plegia. Chrom was the only one to talk a bit about his family, his past, his fears. Helias didn't have much to say, but he was always there to listen and to provide some good advice. Perhaps that was what the tactician wished to hear now?

"Are you asking me to tell you why I... actually like you?"

A strange heat completly took over Helias's body. He turned a bit, doubtful and almost unsettled. He said:

"Because there is an answer?"

The blue-haired man crossed the space that still separated them and firmly grabbed his shoulder, pulling him into a strong embrace. Helias was perfectly frozen, and... warmed. He clenched his fists.

"Chrom, you should not-"

"Will you never be quiet?!"

Helias shut his mouth, ashamed, looking aside. However, he couldn't deny the pure bliss he was feeling, the first since his awakening.

Here were the emotions that were missing in his heart. He never remembered liking someone, or to be liked in the past. But now, he could feel his heart pounding, and Chrom's too. That was simply amazing.

"Chrom... I am just an empty shell don't you see? Who know if my emotions are real?"

The elder man put his forehead against Helias's, a hand on his occiput. The tactician placed an arm between them, as he wanted to keep some distance, but didn't put any force in it. Their breaths met. Their eyes did the same. Their face were tinged with a nice amaranth color. Or was it the candle light?

"That, my Friend, there is only one way to know it."

They gazed each other, one... two... three seconds... All of a sudden, they met in passion, without restraining themselves.

Chrom's embrace was so powerful that it caused Helias, who was melting, to collapse on the soil because of the Prince's extreme rush.

At the beginning, the words Helias tried to say in vain sounded like moans against the swordsman's mouth. He crushed his teeth onto his, his left hand was tightly flattened on the man's spine, whereas the other one gripped a piece of blue hair with no delicacy. Chrom's arms were locked around his friend's body, his hands firmly stroking the red-haired mage's clothes, creating many folds on the fabric.

The tactician was hard put to breath, as the Hero of Ylisse. But every time they broke appart to do it, they immediately rushed into each other's embrace. Something wild and animal was taking control of their limbs. Although, there was also something soft, pressing, a need to be filled. Helias's chest was on fire. A kind of electric current ran through his nervous system, he felt like his head was about to burst. So many questions were rushing in is mind. But not long poetical verses. Only cropped sentences without a beginning or an end. He couldn't think clearly. Actually... he didn't wanted to.

Chrom pushed the young man back as he was progressively doing few steps to press Helias's body against his.. The latter was doing the same, trying not to lose his balance. What was not easy, because most of the time, he couldn't help but close his eyes, submerged by this wave of bliss and endearment.

He found himself stopped by the desk, then a chair. When he finally felt the softness of the bedroll covered by Chrom's cloak and stuff, he bent a leg, the other... Infortunalty, the Prince made the wrong move that caused him to skid forwards, ended up onto the tactician who gasped.

"Oww... by Jove!"Chrom cursed, he moved to lift up and met Helias's face. The red-haired mage seemed as confused as embarassed. His hair and clothes were now, a complete mess. Sweat had appeared on their forehead and neck. The swordsman was still puzzled as before. He breathed, slowly, watching the other one.

A grin formed a the corner of their lips. Next, they totally burst into laughter, unable to control themselves. The Hero slid close to Helias, one of his arm still clunged to him. Their legs tangled, the tactician was playing absently with Chroms'shirt buttons, unable to stop himself. The other man laughed as he never did before. Why? Well, that belonged to those inexplicable things that happened in life. Like what had just happened.

His friend's laugh sounded like pure welfare. He was pleased, surely, but what gave him the most joy was his friend's. He told him:

"What... what are we doing? My, my... That was your strategy?"

Helias chuckled and shook his head. He looked right at him.

"With a fall like this? Looks like one of yours my Prince!"

"Ehehehe, that was not very nice from you, Helias."

"Really? Should I left, maybe?"

"... You surely could." Chrom glanced at the ceiling, then Helias, who seemed concerned. The man smiled with heat.

"I could engage a new tactician. But I will never find the person you are. The one I want by my side."

He just put his mouth slightly onto the strategist's hand as if he wanted to support his words.

"An empty shell doesn't have a heart, Helias. Therefore you are not." He placed his palm firmly on the younger's chest.

Helias shut his eyes tight, and opened them up after few seconds. He managed to say:

"Why are you so... lyrical? Noble education?" He ironised.

"Hm, that works on counts and girls."

"I am no one of them."

"Of course, you mean much more for me...I am sorry for having hurted your feelings. I mind them you know.. I just, panicked, I wanted to know what was bothering you."

"I'd prefere to tell what's the problem with you!" Helias smirked.

Chrom laughed, bent his head on the side and gazed at him.

"... My apologies and...you know... thank you."

"I did nothing."

"Well, I am happy to know that you are really worried about me. That's not the exchange for what I did for you, isn't it?"

"You already know." Helias borrowed Miriel's words.

"Yes, but I would like to hear the truth from you. So, maybe you could stay, and tell me..."

The mage reddened visibly , but didn't pay attention to it. He just put his own hand on Chrom's and turned a bit more closer against him.

"Wait until my awakening, my Prince."

"Yes, Helias."

*Sometimes I like my life...

When I imagine that something like this could happen...

Anywhere other than my dreams

Well... I couldn't say if it was real... I hope for this, for my awakening.

So much.

So much...

….*

_Et c'est tout?_

_Annex: The song used is : Presque rien, from a French artist, Francis Cabrel, I just translated the words._

_Annex 2: Ac reference XD_

_Maybe I will do a sequel. Thanks for your advices. Bisous o/  
_


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